Oh, how often have I found myself pinned between the charming appeal of normative statements and the fiery truth of positive ones?
It appears that the answer would be, too often, I suppose.
Whilst picking the conscious of a splendid mind in the last few days, the content of my own decided to take me on a rather difficult path. The conversation was about love and if I may be so bold to make this statement, my partner’s views were rather blunt and cold hearted compared to mine. We argued from dusk till dawn, and the conversation between us ended rather briskly. Almost a week later and I still catch my subconscious with it’s hand in the goddamned cookie jar.
Disciplining my thoughts has come as a great challenge to me and brought me to some absurd, yet strong realistic facts, as opposing as it may be to my idealistic approach of the “should be’s” of love.
The first one I would like to lay on the table, is this: that love is a cruel thing, when it comes to the normative questions we face. And I say this in a very specific manner. I hope it will bring something of an enlightenment towards those that consider themselves knowledgeable on the topic. I make this statement with a rather cynical and ironical touch towards it. Idealistic love sounds perfect, I agree to that. I would go so far as to say, it’s rather magical. Readers, this is where the fault lies. Magic, as we all are aware, is good at deceiving even the best trained eyes and professionals. That’s why it’s such perfect metaphor for love.
Secondly, love does not come from the heart or some emotional drive beyond our understanding. It happens right there where we are least likely to search. Within our understanding. Falling in love is, plainly spoken, a romanticized term for buried passions, desires and cravings for flesh. And as we all know, fires, passions, becomes ash as soon as the fuel is depleted. Love is, then, an evolutionary process of conscious structures of another subject, with whom there is some form of relations.
Finally, love is imperfect and will never be made perfect. This mishap takes place within our first-person experience of our partner. To truly lookout for another’s needs and desires, is to be able to fully experience them from their on subjective point of view. As we all know, this is impossible and thus causes a experiential barrier between two subject’s in relation to one another. Thus, our love for another will always remain incomplete and will never completely satisfy.
To conclude this rather small argument concerning love, I would like to point out that this makes love a wisdom, rather than a desire. Wisdom requires intimacy with the mind, while desire requires intimacy with the flesh. This does not mean that we are to abstain from flesh, but rather tame it. This wisdom is not only for the unique purpose of sharing with another subject, but is firstly to be brought to light within the presence of one’s own mind. Here, the understanding of oneself serves a greater purpose to you and also any future partners that you may call to be your “loved one”. Let it then be known, that love is to know and to understand another to the best of our abilities.